Thursday, January 22, 2009

Too bad

it is too bad that my current absence of estrogen is so omnipotent. It can withstand any pharmaceutical assault in my current arsenal. Stronger then AmbienCR it is a shame this biological firewall can not be marketed. It's insomnia reigns unscathed by any attempts to derail it's influence. Nights of non-sleep and headaches punctuated by sweats combine with violent hot flashes to render the night a tortuous wasteland stretching before me. It is too bad the extraordinary heat that hot-flashes generate can not be harnessed to provide us with power to at least charge a phone or two. imagine the possibilities of automatic power back up that could be an incredible (renewable?) energy source without the pesky side-effects fossil fuels produce. i wonder how many watts would be generated as many female baby-boomers actually lose the baby-generating and incubating ability. procreation becomes relatively impossible as the ticking clock finally explodes. I have often thought the world would certainly be a different place if these duties could be shared by men. if these hormone cycles and events were gender neutral (hmm a true conflict of that word's meaning?) I imagine there may be automatic sick time each month and then much empathy and allowances as menopause descended.

the effects of the paucity of estrogen are truly heroic. i have seen women vigorously fanning themselves and i judged them somewhat ridiculous. i have been now subjected to incredible retribution. the scalp burns as if lit on fire.this delightful and sudden incident is spontaneous and truly random. It is followed by a very fierce feeling of a flush that is amazing in it's power. Your body then tries to compensate by exploding with perspiration. It is like you become a huge extremely responsive swamp cooler. The principles of evaporative cooling are demonstrated anew as you suddenly feel the water droplets catch fresh air. First you are on fire and then feel like you are freezing. It is impossible to dress appropriately as the desire to tear your clothes off is followed by the need for expedition strength, high tech wicking undergarments. I must also mention how attractive one feels as beads of perspiration spring up on the forehead, upper lip and cleavage. This renders any makeup you may be wearing useless even if labeled waterproof.

I apologize for all the times I rolled my eyes and trivialized this occurrence in anyone in the past. I am truly sorry. I have been and continue to be duly punished! Sorry Marmie.

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